Haiku Horoscopes

We are all out of
Liberty but you can have
Your second choice free

You will be dismayed
To learn it is not the thought
That counts but the size

Making a good first
Impression does not involve
Fire branding strangers

You will become a
Female Body Inspector
But none will believe

The stars unionize
And demand full benefits
Before you learn squat

You should look out for
The little guy, who is a
Cauldron of hatred

Sick of summer films?
Help me make a few movies
In my own bedroom

Your balloon and pin
Fetishes will both come to
Predictable ends

Call them on their bluff
In poker you cannot raise
With your wooden leg

Your old friend Darkness
Is here to talk, and this time
Make some goddamn sense

No amount of cash
Is going to change the fact
That I want it all

You will be annoyed
By those little tiny flies
What’s the deal with them?